ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
handjob tips. give me some.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
