i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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