I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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