real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
