I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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