He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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