Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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