So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
