i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
