dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
