just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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