We named our party play list daddy issues
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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