the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you will always have a special place in my vag
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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