can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
