It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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