I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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