Sry I called you an 8
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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