You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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