i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
