Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I forget how to act sober
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
