It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
