Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
