I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
