Your tits are I can't wait for
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
