She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
