sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
wow bdsm is so cute
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