He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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