when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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