u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
