it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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