Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
