"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i need some magic done to my vagina
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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