She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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