Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
