ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
