So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
