he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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