im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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