imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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