He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
