I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
