If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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