Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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