My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
