Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
