I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
