Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she looked like the before picture.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
