I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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