Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
