my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
