That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
